Accidents Happen
by Chelstar
Summary: B&V are up to their usual shenanigans until a medical mishap lends new meaning to the phrase 'hot and bothered'.


**Hey everyone! Here's a silly one shot to tide you all over while I brainstorm on my main plots. This is a bit different than my usual stuff, but inspiration struck and I decided to try something new before I head off to bed. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. Duh.**

All manner of beauty products flipped haphazardly through the air.

Her movements were frantic as she clawed through every drawer, shelf and cabinet in her private bathroom, a litany of whispered curses huffing from her downturned lips. She had very little reason to utilize her bedside table, and had instead kept these specific pills tucked in the drawer containing her toothbrush. In keeping with good hygiene, she brushed her teeth around the same times every day, ensuring that she would remember to take her pill at the appropriate hour to guarantee its effectiveness.

Down to her last three, Vegeta was taking full advantage of what little time remained until dear aunt flow dropped by to visit. He'd told her once that his heightened senses allowed him to smell the hormonal shifts of her body, which was both creepy and annoying. Coincidentally, she could never seem to find him when her lady bits were closed for maintenance.

Clever, sneaky Saiyan.

After some heavy petting the night before just as the heiress was preparing for bed, she'd forgotten all about her evening rituals and succumbed to the wiles of her voracious prince. Vegeta found condoms repulsive, and so Bulma had resorted to oral contraceptives to avoid another 'accident'. She loved her son very much, but the time of his conception had been awful. She refused to have another child until she was 100% sure the father would stick around.

Unfortunately, Vegeta didn't have the best track record.

As such, she was panic stricken that she'd fallen asleep without taking the appropriate precautions.

"What the hell are you doing in there woman?"

Oh no, oh no, oh no...

Vegeta stood in the doorway looking rather dishevelled, flexing his jaw as he observed the mess she had made. "A bit early to be demolishing the bathroom, don't you think?"

Bulma clasped her fingers guiltily behind her back, rocking on her heels as she tried and failed at nonchalance.

"Haha, yeah, I was just um... Looking for the Advil. Yeah. This headache is a real doozy!" She laughed awkwardly, loosing her fingers to scratch at the back of her neck.

"I used the last of them last night." He ground out, gesturing to the trash bin next to the toilet. For the first time, she noticed the thin sheen of sweat coating his face, seemingly flushed with fever.

"Vegeta, are you okay?" She asked him, concerned. The Saiyan Prince hadn't come down with so much as a common cold since she'd met him. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine!" He barked, causing her to flinch back in surprise. "Why is it so bloody hot in here? Have you been messing with the heating system?"

"No, not at all." She was too worried to scold him for his attitude, her brow creasing as he pressed gingerly at his pectoral muscles.

"These damn human remedies aren't working the way you said they would. I feel worse than I did before! Are you trying to poison me?"

Bulma had begun suggesting Advil to aid her prince in sleeping, the aches of his body often keeping him from passing REM cycle where his nightmares were most vivid. It had worked before; any adverse effects would have turned up the first time. Wouldn't they? Oh well. If he refused to be cooperative that was on him. The heiress had bigger fish to fry.

"Have you seen a foil packet of little pink pills anywhere?" She blurted, beyond trying to keep her predicament a secret. She had assured Vegeta that human's had a type of medicine to prevent pregnancy, and he had accepted it without question having been distracted at the time.

A growl of annoyance rumbled through his chest. "Are you deaf? I TOLD you I used the last of it."

Bulma stared blankly at the moody Saiyan staring daggers at her from the only exit, not comprehending his response. Mechanically, she stepped on the small lever that raised the lid of the garbage bin, and was met with the packet in question. It was riddled with small, empty depressions where her birth control pills had been. Not a single one remained.

"Oh. My. God."

Bulma slapped a hand to her forehead with a groan, dragging it forcefully down her face. "You didn't."

"YES I DID!" His hands balled into white knuckled fists at his sides. "DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?"

"No Vegeta, you don't understand." She looked disbelievingly from the empty package to the glazed eyes of the man before her. "Those pills you took weren't Advil."

"Oh, so you ARE trying to poison me." He spat, placing his hands on his hips. "How dare you betray me after everything I've done to preserve this planet!" His voice cracked and hitched. "You spiteful, traitorous wench. I should blast you where you stand!"

Instead, he fanned himself with a shaking hand and turned on the tap. leaning over the sink to splash frigid water on his face.

"You've really done it now woman. Did the weakling put you up to this? " He examined himself in the mirror, wiping the water from his face. After a moment his eye twitched in disbelief, and he took a step back in alarm.

"HOW THE HELL DID I GET SO FAT!?"

That did her in. Clutching her stomach, forgetting for the moment that a tiny life may very well be on its way to taking root inside of her, Bulma buckled over and howled with obnoxious laughter.

**xD Sorry Veggie. I couldn't resist.**


End file.
